On self-branding

I’m having trouble figuring out what to write about today. Not particularly ‘on-brand’ for a writer, despite its commonness. But, like erectile dysfunction, it does happen, and more often than one would wish to admit.

I haven’t touched my smutty vampire novel for about a week for this reason. I tend to write my novels linearly – I suppose one could jump from scene to scene and weave them together, but I prefer for the first draft to be sequential. And my problem at the moment is that I’m stuck in the middle of this sex scene that’s running well over 1,000 words. (Bear in mind that my word count is, at the moment, less than 10k, and that prooobably a third of that is purple prose.)

I mean, can you write a sex scene when you’re just not in the mood? You could, I suppose, but I just find that if writing smut feels like a chore and isn’t getting you, as an author, horny, then how on earth are you supposed to make the scores of horny housewives that you want reading your book horny, and therein lies my dilemma.

ANYWAYS.

Yesterday, my partner and I discussed the possibility of starting a podcast, which seems to be the trendy thing for writers hoping to build their brand to do. I’m not opposed – I, in fact, suggested the possibility – but upon reflection, how much of my day/week/month do I want to spend ‘branding’ myself? For example, the ‘Zoom coat’ is becoming a thing – people are literally putting on some bullshit dress coat to sit in front of their computer in their pyjamas and talk via video to their colleagues. Just like, A) turn your fucking camera off. Who cares. And B) if I can’t do a podcast in my bathrobe, I’m not interested. Also C) is it necessary for me to inflict my bathrobe and my woke white opinions on the world once a month? Is it?

Granted, there’s a lot to talk about. I just don’t know how much of it is objectively funny or interesting, and how much of it is just me and my family giggling about snakes or whatever. (Though perhaps a script/general talking points for the conversation would be in order? Maybe?)

ANYWAYS.

The other thing I was considering writing about today was Perkwunos. Would you like to hear about Perkwunos, the reconstructed Indo-European thunder god that has finally gotten me to read my partner’s copy of Star.Ships? WELL TOO BAD MAN THE MUSE IS GONE.

Also I simplified my Patreon tiers, because ain’t nobody gonna pay £25/month for quality, quality content like this. But if you’ve got a fiver…